Movie review: 'Teeth'

By now, most of us have probably heard of the film 'Teeth,' starring Jess Weixler. Upon mention, there will usually be a series of groans and whines from those with male genitals, and sometimes giggles or looks of disgust from those with female genitals. A common response will be a male placing his hands lovingly and protectively over his zipper and exclaiming, "Owww," for just the thought of a vagina with teeth can be enough to make his wee a bit sore.

"A vagina with teeth!?" you may say, if you've never seen the film. This thought will either be reacted to with a smile and a chuckle, a sneer, a look of disgust, or placing your hands lovingly and protectively over your zipper and exclaiming, "Owww."

Before you write the movie off as nothing but a gore-fest made solely for shock value, take a moment and hear me out. There's a lot of good to be said of "Teeth," despite it's reputation.

(Warning: Spoilers ahead!)

The movie begins by introducing you to a pretty high school girl named Dawn O'Keefe, who advocates abstinence in the name of God. She's loved by her friends, her family, and is all one could ever ask for if they wanted a 'good girl.' However, soon Dawn's hormones take over and she finds herself infatuated with her friend Tobey. After attempting to avoid each other in order to maintain their innocence, they soon end up unable to keep apart. This leads them to a river, swimming about and exchanging a few kisses. Dawn's discomfort becomes more and more obvious with each kiss.
Soon, they find themselves within a cave, where other teens have clearly previously fooled around. Kisses get more and more heated, Dawn grows more and more uncomfortable. At first, Tobey's pressure is gentle, but it soon fires into explosive rage as he screams, "I haven't even jacked off since Easter!" (the most upsetting part of the film for me) and proceeds to rape her.

(Woah, hold up. Let's take a moment here. I know there are a few of you here who are thinking to yourselves, "Rape in film is wrong. I refuse to watch this." I understand and I certainly can't blame you. But try to keep in mind that this movie does not use rape as a gimmick or a shock- it really has a purpose and a meaning. The point is not that she is raped and then her vaginal teeth proceed to chomp off Tobey's wiener, the point is that she is raped and that, for once, the man get's what he deserves for his injustice toward an innocent person.
Yet, if rape scenes are still a turn-off to you, by all means, order something else on Netflix.
That said, shall we continue?)

After that, Dawn spirals into depression. She begins to realize her body is 'abnormal.' And after a series of awful things that happen to her (each ending in sweet, vagina-dentata-induced revenge) she starts to realize this thing is not a curse, but a gift. No more injustice for Dawn O'Keefe, because Dawn' O'Keefe's got vaginal teeth!

In the end, "Teeth" is not the gore-fest I expected (although, there was plenty enough for me to close my eyes.) It isn't meant to make the viewer squirm with blood and guts- it makes you squirm because of the awful things that happen to Dawn. But you find yourself cheering for her and her 'vagina dentata' as they battle their way to independence, liberation, and life beyond oppression.

Most of all, this is not a movie about a monster vag.
The real villains are the men who hurt Dawn.
The vagina dentata are the heroes.

I recommend it to all, especially those who have just endured any nasty break-ups.
Watch it with a girl-friend or a friend with girl parts. You'll have a good time.
Watch it with a boy-friend or a friend with boy parts and tell them to get over their anatomical infatuation and pay attention to what the movie is really about.
Watch it with your feminist friends and debate its quality.
Watch it with your film guru friends and debate its quality again.
Just give it a chance!

Also, a question for the viewer:
How does it make you feel when discussing this movie with male friends or friends with male parts?
What about girl friends or friends with girl parts?
For those who have seen the film, do you agree with my little write-up here?

In any case, that's the end.
This being my first post on Paper Dolls, let me say, I'm pleased to be here among Jen, Leah and Lisa. They're beautiful and I adore them all.

Let me leave you with this hilarious bit from Lashings of Ginger Beer.
It gets real good at 1:17.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_4yCm6DZp8

-Cameron.